On the 3rd of July 20011 i thought that my world was going to end, i had a letter of the hospital dating my operation date, My heart sank i felt awful, my nerves were all over the place, i was only 27 why me?? My operation was dated the 14th September, i wished that that date would never come. As the weeks went by, it felt like me feet didn't touch the floor, then the day had arrived. I woke up feeling sick wishing the day had never come, i had to phone the hospital to make sure that they had a bed for me and to make matters worse they never, i had to wait all day not knowing weather my operation would go ahead, then at 4 o'clock then the hospital phoned me and told me to come in. When i arrived at the hospital my nerves had suddenly gone. I went through all the general medical checks, then the time come for my partner dean to go home. i wished that dean could stay with me till the morning, but he had to go. as dean was leaving he told me it would be fine and he would be here first thing in the morning, then he kissed me on my head and left. I just sat on the hospital bed dreading the next day, wondering how my life would be without my breast, then my thoughts turned to me not having the operation and not watching my children grow up. As the hours went by i couldn't sleep, i watched the clock all night long. The morning arrived as so did dean and my mum, the nurses prepared me for my operation this was it no more doubting or Turing back it was to late. The porters arrived to take me down, that felt like the worst time in my life watching dean walk up the hospital corridor i feared i would never see him again. I was pushed into a little room with a lot of doctors fussing around, i told the doctor that i did not want to know when i was being put a sleep and just to do it. I remember laughing with the doctor joking on how i should be on a sunny island on my honeymoon not on a hospital bed waiting to go to theatre, next thing i remember was feeling light headed then i drifted off to sleep......
As i woke up i remember hearing deans voice saying i was a brave girl and he was proud of me, at that moment i knew i had made the right decision. The next few days felt like the rolled into one, i was on so much medication i felt out of it most of the time. I didn't complain though as it helped with the pain. The first time i saw my chest was such a hard moment, i didn't look like a man or a woman. As i returned home i couldn't do anything for myself, dean was amazing he cooked cleaned and took care of me and my children. I thank him for helping me get through this rough time in my life, without him i wouldn't of been able to do it. Its now 3 months since my operation and i feel fantastic, i never thought that i would ever feel like a woman again but i do. I feel so happy with my new breasts, even thought i still have a very long way to go.
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